Friday, August 28, 2009

Today, as I sit in the hospital with Jon waiting to figure out what is going on with him, I read a verse during my quiet time that struck me. It called out my name, saying this one is for you. At first I was just simply agreeing with the verse until I reread my last blog entry. I had been pleading with the Lord to set me free from fear. And now this verse means so much more: "In my anguish I cried to the Lord and he answered by setting me free." Psalm 118:5

He has answered by setting me free. And little things make me laugh as I feel him prodding me along to live in this freedom. As I made a cup of coffee this morning in this gourmet contraption I sensed freedom. Do you know how many hours I have spent in this hospital in the past with no coffee simply because I was afraid of the machine and afraid to ask for help? Silly I know. Oh how much more did I enjoy my coffee this morning.

See these are those crippling things that I seem to struggle most with. And little by little they spill over into the bigger more important things in life. Thats why I must deal with fear head on even in these areas. This morning I could sense the Lord's delight as he stretches me further and further into dependence on him.

One book in particular has been instrumental to me in this process of dealing with fear. I think this is the fourth time I have read this book. Each time I have been struggling with a different area. The book is Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George. The main premise of the book is that we are to think on truth. If we think on only what is true then we will be loving the Lord with our mind and be guarding our minds and hearts from needless worry and conflict.

As I read through the book, I am going to try and journal through it here. If you have never read this book, you really really have to! I think you will be truly blessed by it!


Pam said...

So glad God is meeting you in tangible ways, dear Kelly.

Psalm 118:5 is one of the verses I've been memorizing this year. The Lord has been imprinting it on my heart as I fight feeling captive by my circumstances. I'm thrilled to hear how it's ministered to you,too.

Know you are in our prayers, friend.

bluedogblues said...

I have had terrible experiences with psychiatrist and and pychiatric drugs and so has my father. My dad's doctors also insisted his critical state was not due to the drugs but when I insisted he be taken off, he got better within days.

I would highly recommend you take him off all the psych. drugs immediately, no matter what the doctors say, and see if things improve. These drugs, their interactions with each other and their effect on children are not well researched and the pharmological companies hide what is known.

Good luck to you