Fear. Such a simple word with far-reaching consequences. Fear is so natural. So sudden. And so hard to control. Fear can be paralyzing, suffocating, and can literally bring death. It takes on many forms and strikes each of us in different ways. Regardless of how little or silly the fear may be, when it strikes it is debilitating.
Fear came knocking on my door last night. In all reality, its been knocking for a long time. And I think I may have let more than one foot in the door. And then I realized that what I thought would be a short visit in my heart had become a little more than that. Fear had moved in. It took up residence in my heart. Fear's baggage was beginning to squeeze the life out of me. Thankfully, the Lord was already beginning to shed his light on my heart and the need to kick fear out.
Unfortunately, fear was not to willing to leave. In fact, last night, fear along with his buddy oppression tried really hard to convince me that possession was nine tenths of the law and refused to leave. They tried so hard to enslave me and hold me prisoner. But then that light of truth from my master began to shine through and set me free.
I wish I could say that in an instant my heart was freed and I could breathe again. It is only now hours and hours later that I am beginning to breathe again. My heart was seized by fear. Paralyzed. Life was being sucked out and I was panicking. I asked the Lord why after battling all day through scripture and prayer the fear still was there. Shouldn't it just go away? Shouldn't the Lord just remove it? I asked him to...why didn't he? Then I realized that if he did I would soon find myself right back here. Instead, the Lord is teaching me how to take him at his word, how to obey, and to choose to believe truth. So I think this battle for my heart may continue for a little while. But honestly, I don't want it any other way. When this battle is over, I expect to stand in victory...fully confident in my Lord. No longer afraid. I have asked him to make me bold and courageous. I think I may have to walk through the battlefield to gain these character qualities. Some things are worth fighting for, don't you think?
This morning, after the terror of the night, I began to really diligently seek the Lord for his perspective on all these things. The night had been full of nightmares and a feeling of oppression had filled the house. I desperately wanted to get up, turn on all the lights, and spend time reading the word. But I honestly was too afraid to even get up out of bed. Seriously, it was that paralyzing. The puppy was crying at 2am the exact time that the worst nightmare ended and then Mya started crying. I made Shawn take the puppy outside.. there was no way I could go out. The next few hours were spent praying, asking the Lord why there was so much fear, begging him to take it away, trying to understand the dream, praying for protection, peace for each of my precious family, friends.
Gently, the Lord revealed to me some of the underlying reasons for my fear. Through the vivid nightmare, I realized that I had allowed certain thoughts, fears, memories, circumstances past and present to take me captive. I was bound in the dream and facing certain death. In the nightmare I was not able to call out for help. I realized that I have some deep trust issues. And that there are certain issues that I don't trust the Lord in at all. Its hard not to be afraid, if you can't trust the one who promises to protect you. He also showed me that these fears were holding me back from what He has planned for me. There is so much he wants me to experience and fear is preventing me.
This morning in my quiet time I searched through the bible for the Lord's truth about fear and how to conquer it. I am going to share some of these here tonight. As I process this in the coming days I will share more on how the Lord ministers to my heart. Please, friends, please pray for me in this area... I am desperate to be set free. I am desperate for the Lord to replace fear with a supernatural courage. I think it is going to be a tough fight...I need you to battle with me.
God's truth about Fear:
You must not fear them for the Lord your God himself fights for you. Deuteronomy 3:22
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear or be afraid of them, for the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4
I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble, therefore we will not fear. Psalm 46:1-2
The Lord is on my side, I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6
Whoever listens to me will dwell in safety, and will be secure without fear of evil. Proverbs 1:33
The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe. Proverbs 29:25
Strengthen the weak hands and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who are fearful hearted, "Be strong and do not fear!" Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God, he will come and save you! Isaiah 33:3-5
Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
For I the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you Fear not, I will help you. Isaiah 41:13
Do not fear. Do not be afraid. Isaiah 44:8
Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame for you will forget the shame of your youth. Isaiah 54:4
O man, greatly beloved, fear not. Peace be to you, be strong, yes, be strong! Daniel 10:19
According to the word I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt, my spirit remains among you, do not fear! Haggai 2:5
He said to them why are you fearful, o you of little faith? Then he arose and rebuked the winds and the sea and there was a great calm. Matt 8:26
To grant us that we being delivered from the hand of our enemies might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him all the days of our lives. Luke 1:73-75
Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba, Father. Romans 8:15
For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
So we may boldly say The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me? Hebrews 13:6
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. He who fears has not been made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
Do not fear any of those things you are about to suffer. Rev.2:10
Do not be afraid, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will accomplish for you today. Exodus 14:13
Have I not commanded you? be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid, not be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in you. Psalm 56:3
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night... Psalm 91:5
He will not be afraid of evil tidings, his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Ps 112:7
When you lie down, you will not be afraid. Yes you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24
Do not be afraid of sudden terror, nor of trouble... Proverbs 3:25
Behold God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid. For Yah, the Lord, is my strength and song. He also has become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2
Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you, not peace as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27