Monday, May 28, 2007

Please Pray....
Friends, please pray for my sweet Jason this week. I need you to intercede with me on behalf of my precious child... for the temporary "band- aid" as well as a full and complete healing of his heart. The temporary and time sensitive request... please pray for his intense fear of the unknown and new to dissipate. We are supposed to get on a plane in a week and fly to Colorado. My sweet boy has cried and screamed for hours daily for the past week over the realization that he will have to fly. He wants to drive. He is adamant and he is very upset. But it is driven by a deep fear. This fear is flight related this time but it is a deep fear that rears itself whenever he faces the unknown. School field trips, a change of schedule- anything out of the ordinary sends him off. He reminds me of me... (that is another story but those of you who know me know what I am talking about).
Originally when we planned this trip we were going to fly. But I had strong misgiving about it... mainly because I was not sure I wanted to be on a plane for hours with my children and other people and not be able to get off... you know if they are going to have moments of less then desirable behavior then let it be when we are in the privacy of our own vehicle. Also, at the time Jon was taking growth hormone and I was going to have to travel with needles and liquid medicine... a security nightmare. So we were going to drive... then the tumor growth news came and gas prices went sky high and we were not going to go at all. But then it worked out to fly... so here we are... plane tickets and a hysterical child.
So friends... pray he will get on that plane next Tuesday without one little ounce of fear or terror stricken reaction. Please...
Please also intercede for the deeper matters of his heart. Pray that God will break through and set him free and heal his little heart. My heart is so broken and frustrated at the same time. I don't know how to help him. He is so angry. He is convinced no one loves him or likes him. He thinks he never gets his way and everyone else does. His behavior and outbursts at times drive a wedge between me and my husband... my loyalty for both is torn in two. Please intercede for him. Pray for us as his parents to know what God wants us to do. Pray for us to know how to respond. How to show him God. Pray for the appeal of "evil" to be broken in his life.
Oh, if I could just turn back the days and hold them in my arms again as infants. I would have done so many things differently. But I can't... today is what I have. Tonight as he screamed and cried my heart was so tormented... I cried out to God like I haven't done in so long. I cried out loud to him with my arms wrapped around my child. I placed Jason is his arms and begged him to bring healing. I asked God to bring peace to my home. I asked the Holy Spirit to permeate every space in my home. I spoke God's word to him... words of courage and no fear. As I cried over my precious child and offered him to the Lord, he quieted and fell asleep in my arms. God does hear my cry and he will do all he promises.

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