You would think after all the surgeries we have been through I wouldn't be so nervous...but this is my baby. She is having a very simple, very quick procedure being done to put ear tubes in tomorrow morning. All of my children have had tubes. So really this is no big deal.
Maybe it is because I just hoped she would be different. I tried hard but somethings are just genetically that way. I think she will feel so much better though. Poor thing... she has been sick for so long.
After tomorrow, the only major thing left to do is hear about our house and get things moving. Of course, that means I have to get back to cleaning. But for tonight there are matters of the heart that need to be answered. My heart is breaking over things I have no control over. I don't know what is right. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to proceed. I hate feeling torn between so many people that I love. I hate how horrible people can be to other people. I hate how complicated things can become. I hate that we can't just all live life simply the way God (not the world, not other christians, but God) tells us to. Seems things would just be better that way. Anyway, I am not sure where that all came from...just where I am tonight. Trying to focus on truth in the midst of sadness.