I was listening to songs on New Years day and wondering what song could be a theme song for this new year for me. This song came on and immediately I knew it was the one... the single line " Jesus, keep my heart alive," is my prayer for 2011. That is the desperate plea ringing out from my heart.
The last half of 2010 was rough. Really rough. Rough in ways that I can't share. So many things happened that left me emotionally shaken and questioning everything I thought was true. When you are hurt deeply, its hard to keep your heart alive. Its hard to keep pressing on. It is so much easier to shut down and become numb.
Thankfully, the Lord went before me and prepared the way even in the midst of so much pain. I am so thankful for two people in particular who God gave me during this time when it felt like I was loosing everything and everyone that were important to me. One person has reminded me daily that healthy, mutually edifying relationships can exist...I am so thankful that when many others forgot the song my heart needed to hear that this person sang that song every morning and every night for as long as it took. The other person has become the person to walk through the very deep things that I needed to walk through, lovingly and graciously willing to get messy with me. She wasn't afraid to step into the mud puddle I had found myself in and pull me out. Her words are straight from the word of God and are a never ending challenge to press on and not give up hope.
With 2010 gone and 2011 waiting to be lived... I am choosing to forget what lies behind and press forward...praying as I walk and things getting messy...Jesus, keep my heart alive.