Hurting. That's where I am tonight. Friends, I need your prayers. I asked the Lord to rescue me from my fears and I am beginning to think that its going to get worse before it gets better. I know he is growing me and stretching me. I know he has to cut out all the scar tissue that has grown in my heart. And that means a lot of bleeding. Alot of healing. And just time.

The fire feels as though it has been turned up full blast. I need courage to stay in the fire until the work is done. I know the Lord is not holding me there against my will. I know this is the answer to my prayer. But honestly, does it have to be wave upon wave of encounters with the things that scare me the most. Or the things that hurt the most. Why does everything have to be all at once?

I will tell you that this really has nothing to do with Jonathan although the past few days of dealing with him has contributed. So please don't worry..the Lord is just refining me. I am trusting that he has the ability to hold me as he breaks me and molds me into his image. It will all be ok when its done.

Thank you for your prayers my special friends.