It takes a lot to freak me out. I am officially starting to freak. Something is wrong. I know it in my heart. I know something is not right. I just don't know what. I feel like Jon's brain is crashing. I am having a hard time getting this across. His nurse is wonderful and is listening. But I am feeling helpless.

Pray for wisdom. For the doctors. For me. Pray for me to be assertive and fight for answers. Pray I will know what to fight for.

This is scary. This is when I feel the most frustrated. And when I get angry. And when I desperately need to feel the arms of Jesus around us. Because I don't understand.

Back in Tennessee, our precious friend Sydney is fighting her battle with cancer and has just undergone a painful surgery. I don't understand. I hate that these kids have to face this pain and fear. I don't get it.

The only thing I do get is that it breaks the heart of my God as well. It was not meant to be this way. While I don't understand why he allows this in their lives when he could take it away, I understand one thing...if there was a better way he would. I have to believe that God in his sovereignty knows what he is doing and that it is done out of an incredible love that supersedes our understanding.

Please keep praying for Jon and for Sydney.