Its my party and I'll cry if I want to!!!

I hate birthdays. Actually, I only hate my birthday. I love other people's birthdays. I don't really know why I hate it so much...maybe the expectations- I would just rather the whole day just be peaceful and happy than stressful just because its my birthday. Same thing with Mother's Day etc. I don't want the stress of thinking that somehow the day should be any better than any other day just because its my birthday.

I should say that everyone really tried. I really appreciate it...more than I would ever say. I loved the cards. My children sweetly took daddy to the store to buy my present (only to find out that Daddy left his wallet at home!!!). I was touched by their thoughtfulness...they know me well...travel mug, dunkin donuts coffee, chocolate and a starbucks card!!!! Josh asked me a hundred times when we were having a party...finally in the Wendy's drive thru yesterday I told him right now, right here in this parking lot. Everyone remembered my birthday...even my long lost friend!

So if every hope I had was fulfilled why was I wanting to cry? Because I was grumpy. Because we woke up all tired, sick, and grumpy. Because my children move faster then I can think. My brain rattled with every shriek and cry from their VERY loud voices. All this would have been easier to deal with if it had just been a normal day- but it was my birthday and should have been a wonderful day, right????

Yeah right...here we are the day after...I can breathe again. I don't think I will cry. I am ready to spend some time with the Lord. I need to be refreshed, refocused, and re-energized. I am ready to push through and deal with all this day has brought with it....

I need to take four of the children to the dr. Mya and Josh have been running high fevers since Saturday. Jon spiked a fever Sat night but hasn't since...but we know he has a sinus infection (his white blood cell count jumped from 9,000 to 21,000 in just a few short days. Jason is playing hooky but I just didn't have the energy to fight him this morning. So I think he will just have to go to the dr and get swabbed for strep with the rest. Then I 'll take him to school...unless I am wrong and he is positive then I will give him a popsicle...

That's just the beginning of a crazy day but I am determined today will not be like yesterday!